Leading with Connection
Cohesion and Trust in the 21st century
WO1 P M Kennedy, The Royal Anglian Regiment
Soldiers today have grown up in an open-information age. We are more connected to the world than any generation before us, but paradoxically we are often more disconnected from each other than ever. We are surrounded by screens and notifications, and yet many of us experience a kind of social drift: physically present but emotionally absent. Leaders must confront the fact that their team’s internal cohesion is eroding and work actively to restore it. This is because the bonds, relationships and connections we form during training and while we are preparing for the conflicts of the future will allow us to be more lethal when it counts. As technology evolves, leadership in the 21st century must purposely place human connection at its core.
The cost of disconnection.
John Spencer’s Connected Soldiers illustrates how the internal connection among groups of soldiers
is at risk. As a US Army Platoon Leader in 2003, Spencer witnessed tight-knit platoons bond through
downtime and shared adversity. In difficult time, soldiers survived by leaning on each other. However, by 2008 – when he was a Company Commander in Iraq – Spencer found soldiers alone on laptops instead of mixing with their mates. The internet had become both a lifeline and a barrier. His troops were physically together but were mentally and emotionally elsewhere, absorbed in social media and emails rather than sharing stories and reflections and creating bonds. This disconnect ultimately weakened his unit’s cohesion.
In our Army too, 'welfare packages' allow the use of personal devices and uninterrupted
internet access to connect with family and friends who are far away, to engage with others on social
media or to relax listening to music or watching a show. On the surface, this is a cheap and efficient
solution to the feeling of isolation, family separation and stress, but what is the unseen cost? Soldiers spend downtime wearing headphones, gaming, streaming, or calling home. These are understandable behaviours, but they come at the expense of interaction with the team. Conversations fade. Group humour dulls. The shared struggle is replaced with an isolated escape. These are missed opportunities, moments when connections should be forming, and bonds should be strengthened. We face these same challenges in the British Army today. Over the past 18 months, our Battalion has been engaged in a series of dispersed, diverse tasks and training events. Each experience brought added value through which people grew, developed, and then returned with a sense of personal achievement. But that same schedule has also challenged our cohesion. When a unit is always fragmented, and constantly rotating through short-term deployments, it struggles to maintain its collective identity.
Recently, however, in our unit, we were reminded of what genuine connection feels like and
the impact it can have. Our Battalion spent two weeks together on a combined live-fire tactical
training package; we were all working together with the same aims from the same location. By
chance, rather than design, there was no mobile phone signal. The change in morale and cohesion
was immediate and unmistakable. With no digital distractions, and with proximity to each other,
soldiers reconnected through a combined effort, laughter, joint problem-solving, and moments of
shared hardship. It did not take a grand scheme, just uninterrupted time and a common purpose. It
was a stark reminder: connection is not complicated, but it does require time, presence, and
protection from distraction to truly thrive.
This time spent together in training and in daily life where bullets are not flying is where we
bond; the conversations about our life experiences break down barriers and assumptions. These
moments of connection are essential for building trust, enhancing our decision-making capabilities,
and developing effective leadership, followership and teamwork. Without this bonding, we have
fragile teams, with isolated individuals rather than cohesive effective teams, with connected people.
Cohesion and trust in the digital age
By strengthening cohesion and fostering trust, military leaders help their team grow tighter, more
supportive and operationally more effective.
• Strengthening the team.
The strength of any team lies in its shared identity and mutual trust. In The Combat Soldier, Anthony King argues that cohesion today is rooted less in rigid discipline and more in the shared experiences and cultivated identity of small teams. These bonds are formed through training, shared hardship, and sustained interaction. They make a fire team more than just a collection of individuals. In Army units, connection is not sentimental; it is structural. Soldiers who identify with their team act more decisively, more resiliently, and with greater initiative under pressure. Leaders must create opportunities for genuine human interaction through shared hardship, team rituals, and structured downtime. Simple habits like eating together, post-patrol debriefs, or celebrating small wins build relational equity. These bonds are what make soldiers instinctively look to each other when things get tough. These habits matter more than ever in an age where mobile phones offer an easy escape from the discomfort and growth of shared experience.
• Building trust through everyday leadership.
Leadership must evolve with society. While Gen Z and Millennials receive a lot of criticism for being too demanding, they in fact simply expect authenticity, openness, and accountability. They are less likely to accept statements like ‘because I said so’ as a rationale, and even if they comply, they may not commit. This does not mean that discipline has vanished; it means that influence and example are more important than ever. Trust is not assumed; it must be earned. In his book The Habit of Excellence, Langley Sharp emphasises that effective Army leadership is not built on heroic acts but on consistent, values driven habits. The Army Leadership Doctrine (ALD) emphasises the importance of ‘Who Leaders Are’, and of the primacy of character when leading others. The Doctrine underlines the need for values-based leadership. This approach builds and reinforces trust in leaders and followers through their daily actions. It is these everyday behaviours, when grounded in empathy and purpose, that reinforce the trust that binds teams together. To achieve this, leaders must balance authority with transparency. Rank grants the authority to issue orders, but it does not guarantee influence. Influence comes from consistency, empathy, and honesty.
• Mission command and empowerment in a connected team.
In the introduction to Mission Command and Leadership on Operations since 1991, it is stated that trust is the foundation of Mission Command, and that mutual trust is vital to bond leaders and followers into high performing teams. This trust is forged in moments of connection, it is strengthened through shared experience, and it is reinforced by leaders who communicate clearly and consistently. In a connected team, where soldiers know their leaders and each other beyond their roles, Mission Command becomes viable and robust. If a team is cohesive, has trained together, struggled together, and listened to each other throughout a training journey, then it does not just understand the plan; it understands the person delivering it. Familiarity fosters confidence. It makes quick decisions easier to accept and rapid adaptation more natural.
Mission Command thrives where human connection is strong. Empowerment becomes effective
when the person being trusted already feels seen, valued, and part of something bigger – the
more connected the team, the more cohesive their actions, even under stress. King’s research in
The Combat Soldier reinforces this point, showing that the success of Mission Command depends
on shared understanding, habitual trust, and team intimacy. When soldiers know each other’s
strengths, can anticipate reactions, and understand their leader’s way of thinking, orders
become shorthand, and initiative flows naturally. In this environment, Mission Command is not
just a doctrinal concept, but a lived experience built on connection, not abstraction.
• Empathy and human connection.
Empathy and consistency are key traits for modern leaders. In her 2018 book Dare to Lead, Brene Brown reminds us that trust is built in the small moments: checking in, listening, and following through. Something as simple as knowing what is going on in a soldier’s life or being honest about your own struggle builds trust. When soldiers know that their leaders genuinely care, they are more likely to follow them willingly, not just dutifully.In chapter three of the Army Leadership Doctrine, ‘What Leaders Know’, we are told that leaders must know themselves, their profession and their soldiers. This requirement to know our soldiers is echoed by King in The Combat Soldier as he observes that modern combat leaders gain influence through competence, consistency, and emotional presence. The best leaders are not only tactically sound but present and invested in their people's lives and well-being. This type of leadership creates loyalty not through fear or formality but through mutual respect. Emotional presence is not a weakness in leadership; it is its currency.
The British Army’s Followership Doctrine Note also highlights that leaders and followers who
coexist in trust-based relationships work together to achieve shared goals; creating a space
where honest dialogue is encouraged does not erode discipline; it enhances it. Soldiers who feel
respected and understood will go further for their leaders. This is especially vital in high-stress
environments where cohesion is everything. If soldiers trust their leader, they will hold the line
even when it is hard. If they do not, they will look elsewhere for direction. Cohesion is built on
purpose, but it is sustained by presence, and that starts with the leader.
Promoting Cohesion and Connection
Leaders must actively promote opportunities to bring people together without distraction and
interruption both throughout the workday and, when deployed, during downtime. We can actively
shape cohesion through deliberate structure, daily behaviours, and subtle cultural shifts through acts
such as:
• Deliberate leadership presence.
The simple act of being around, sharing the same conditions,
asking real questions, and taking an interest in the small details of soldiers’ lives makes a leader
part of the team, not just a voice in the room. Presence builds trust more than relying on
authority derived from position.
• Post-task reflection.
After-Action Reviews (AAR) should be conducted on all activities not just
at the subunit level and above, but also on section, team, and individual tasks. Leaders must build
in time for informal reflection after training events, patrols, or exercises. A brew around the
vehicle, a briefing table, or a walk-and-talk debrief encourages storytelling and reflection. These
are powerful tools for strengthening connection.
• Device-free hours.
Protect time during the day or evening for group activities that do not
involve screens, whether it is a board game, physical training, or a team-led skills competition.
Framed correctly, these activities reinforce identity and inject energy into the group. They get
people in the same place, in a low-stress environment, sharing thoughts, experiences, and
knowledge, building mutual understanding and trust.
• Shared hardship with shared purpose.
Introduce challenges requiring everyone’s input, such as competitions, basic military skills, ranges, and navigation exercises. The point is not just to complete the task, but to do it together and learn something about each other along the way.
• Routine team meals without devices.
Much like in family life or the mess, we should be creating moments in the day when we eat together, without phones or screens. This promotes conversation, reinforces social bonds, and builds trust.
• Cohesion checkpoints.
When planning exercises or deployments, factor in moments when the team can pause and regroup. These breaks allow soldiers to reconnect, reflect, and see their shared purpose before continuing.
Conclusion
In 2025, the leader’s role is not only to direct and inspire, but also to connect. We must confront the
fragmentation caused by constant digital input and reforge strong, cohesive, purpose-driven teams.
Connection is not a by-product of leadership; it is its foundation. Cohesion is not an abstract idea, it
is a practical and proven factor in ensuring operational effectiveness.
In a world where distraction and dislocation are the norm, leaders must work deliberately to
bind their teams through shared purpose, presence, and trust. When soldiers feel genuinely bonded
to each other and trust in their leaders' intent, they become more resilient, more loyal, and ready for the fight ahead. Although a mundane example, my Battalion’s recent experience was a powerful
reminder that when connection is re-established, cohesion naturally follows. Without cohesion, achieved through connections and bonds borne through shared experience, proximity and mutual understanding, our teams become fragile and operational effectiveness is compromised. This is vital moral ground we must conquer in training and operations now, regaining it in the early battles of the next war will not be so easy to do.
Questions
1. When was the last time your team experienced genuine, undistracted connection, and what
made it possible?
2. How often do you rely on authority or position, rather than presence and trust to influence your
team?
3. What habits or routines in your environment promote connection, and which ones quietly
undermine it?
4. What shared experiences, rituals, or conversations could you introduce to build trust and
identity?
Resources
Brown, B., Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts (New York: Random House, 2018)
Centre for Army Leadership, Army Leadership Doctrine (2021), AC 72029.
Centre for Army Leadership, A British Army Followership Doctrine Note (2023), AC 72029-1.
King, A., The Combat Soldier: Infantry Tactics and Cohesion in the Twentieth and Twenty-First Centuries (Oxford: OUP, 2013).
Risso, L. (ed.), Mission Command and Leadership on Operations since 1991 (Camberley: Centre for Army Leadership, 2024) AC 72278.
Sharp, L., The Habit of Excellence: Why British Army Leadership Works (London: Penguin, 2021).
Spencer, J., Connected Soldiers: Life, Leadership, and Social Connections in Modern War (Lincoln, NE: Potomac Books, Inc., 2022)